I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
