she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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