I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize