So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
