so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
