some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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