She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
