North Korea, Best Korea!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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