shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
