My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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