Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
