dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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