How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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