What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize