i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
