Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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