Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
