You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
