I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
