after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
