she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
