Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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