i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
