but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
