Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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