forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
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He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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