Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
