I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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