There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
