your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think I just sharted jello shots
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