When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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