Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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