dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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