Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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