Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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