Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
