The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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