is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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