My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
