worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
