I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
