Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
