I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
