You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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