Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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