This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
