Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize