The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
