If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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