i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize