she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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