Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
