yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
