she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well you can't waste a boner
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
