just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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