i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
