I CAN MOONWALK!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
