K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
