We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
