Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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