I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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