k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
