Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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