Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
