i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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