I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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