ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
