I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Shame is for Republicans.
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