i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
