Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I need moral support for this bender
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
