In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it was like eating out sand paper
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
